Happy (New Year)

A Big Life: Encouragement for People in the Arts – 

It seems a sin to say
that last year was good
as we move toward
fireworks and cheering–
many want me to agree
it was dreary,
that what happened
is to be forgotten
but I don’t and I won’t
so I dare to say it anyway:

I do not want to sluff the past away
or hope about what is to come–
refusing to wish it gone
for it is who I am and was,
even as I am dared
only to rejoice after midnight
as though something new
will happen

After all,
the newscasts and doomsdayers
will continue to guilt
and blame
me for the state of things
even though I gave
to the poor, recycled and wrote
to the governor

I have no apologies
as I have done them already
and they are ever
present, continuous
like my joy
but only
as a curiosity
like frost on daffodils
in the
spring mountains

What will come is unspoken and
the future is the wide cold nothing
which I will not dream on–
instead I wrap myself in
this night by the fire,
a pearl grey coat, red socks
woven with white deer
and a house which encircles me
in a father-mother hug
for I am its child with
a child’s responsibilities–
it envelopes me and not I it

It not my offspring
nor is the year–
I am the child
of all that has happened
and will sing my songs alone,
plan I will and do
but I won’t live in plans
or wishing
and I release nothing

Instead of taking
the lights down
this night
I put up more,
adding to the red and green
new strings of blue and gold
for I am happy in this happy
now not quite yet
(but I am) New Year.