Lonesome Some More

Trail through woods mist

Coastal trail through Oregon rainforest. – photo by Katie Bennett

A Big Life: Encouragement for People in the Arts –

It is hard to be honest.

Lots of people don’t like it.

I don’t even like it when people are honest with me.

A good friend told me once, “People don’t want to hear the truth. They want you to lie to them. Do. Do, if you want to get along with people.” He turned out to be right. One day we were too honest with each other and now we are no longer friends.

Life is a paradox.

We hunger for authenticity but when it’s hurled at us we cry out in anger. As artists and teachers and media experts we think we are helping others when we tell the truth.

What is truth? A leader more famous than I am once asked that. Unfortunately, he is famous for some very bad reasons.  Life is short and it’s hard to change things because most of our young lives we buy into nonsense and by the time we learn truth more babies are born.

The cycle repeats itself. We don’t live long enough to change the pattern. Also, we are lonely.

That is the cry of humanity, isn’t it?   Kurt Vonnegut in his book Slapstick invents a presidential candidate whose campaign is “Lonesome No More!”. He invents artificial families for everyone in the U.S.

Of course he wins.

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The campaign for Vonnegut’s fictional election

But he gives people quantity, not quality. How do you have that without honesty? How do you keep people in your lives if you do tell the truth?

So we lie. A little. Each day.

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4 Responses to Lonesome Some More

  1. Janae Werner says:

    I would have to agree – the truth makes people uncomfortable. I struggle with this, too, Katie, for you see, I have always been very blunt, with no filter. I too have lost friends, even been called a bitch because of it. So, yes – I’ve learned to lie, just enough to get through…

    A good friend of mine’s mother once said of me – “That’s one thing about Janae’ – you never have to wonder whats on her mind.” I can’t decide if that’s a blessing or a curse.

    Love ya.

    • Katie Bennett says:

      Forthright people are my favorite kind of people. I never can figure out the other kind of dance. It means sometimes we step on toes but we never mean to hurt people. Forthright people almost always have honest, kind loving hearts…and are great conversationalists! It’s okay to be best at the dance we know.

  2. Lily Chavez says:

    I agree with your introduction statement, “It is hard to be honest” and “Life is a Paradox,” because the things we say do cycle around our life. Honesty is a great skill to have and it’s always better to tell the truth then to lie about it. Also, “making artificial families” from what the book Slapstick says, is an interesting idea.

  3. Brandon Reyes says:

    Brandon R.

    I would have to agree: didn’t realize till after reading this blog that being honest can be absolutely hurtful. Me personally, I’ve had this problem with friends throughout my years of school, and the problem would be those situations where you see other friends of yours arguing. While the argument is still being occurred, and then having me [the quiet one] being tossed in with a question like “Is it true, brandon.”
    What I liked about this post was the comparison of a metaphor you used in the begging “Life is a paradox.” & all my life of experience I would have to agree with this next quote from your blog, “It is hard to be honest. Lots of people don’t like it. I don’t even like it when people are honest with me.”
    I can also relate to
    “A good friend told me once, “People don’t want to hear the truth. They want you to lie to them. Do. Do, if you want to get along with people.” That really hooked me as a reader.

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